Monday, July 5, 2010

25 things a mom can learn on the 4th of July

Taking 4 kids, ages 4-16 to see a fireworks display on the 4th of July is an "interesting" experience. I learned a lot from last night's fireworks show...
  1. Although you bring teen daughters to watch the fireworks, they will watch and text on their cell phone instead.
  2. If you comment on this, prepare for teenage back-sass and attitude.
  3. Do not try to explain to a teenage girl how illogical it is for someone to have their face in their cell phone when there are fireworks to watch. You will not succeed.
  4. Our dog, who literally shakes when she hears thunder or fireworks, is fine watching fireworks with us, if I put cotton in her ears, cuddle her, cover most of her body with a blanket and give her chicken liver treats.
  5. If you bring soft drinks, goldfish crackers, and Snickers bars, be prepared for ants.
  6. Don't set your Snickers bar on the pavement, believe it or not, the pavement is still very warm and will melt your candy.
  7. That was the best Snickers bar I ever drank.
  8. If your kids drop goldfish crackers on the ground, the ants will find them.
  9. The kids shouldn't wear flip flops, because the kids will kick them off and walk around barefoot.
  10. Walking around barefoot, kids will step on the food they dropped, that now has ants on it.
  11. As a "grand finale" to the fireworks display, a child will begin screaming as ants sting his feet.
  12. One of your teenagers thinks pouring a sugary drink over the painful feet will help.
  13. You stop the teenager from doing this just in time.
  14. There's a box of Band-Aids in the car (miracle!)
  15. Why is there bottle of Tylenol that expired in 2004 in the car?
  16. Everybody's angry, tired, whining, or whimpering.
  17. Realize you better get this crowded bunch of grumpy people out of the metal box you call a car, ASAP.
  18. By the time you get everyone in the car and ready to go, you can't go, because there's a long line of cars waiting to get out of the parking lot.
  19. When you get home, apply ointment the ant bites.
  20. Find you are covered in dog fur. Apparently nervous dogs shed - a LOT.
  21. Try to brush the dog fur off your shirt, only to find it sticking to the ointment residue on fingers.
  22. You tell yourself that next year will be easier.
  23. You thought that last year too.
  24. And the year before that.
  25. Rethink that "brilliant idea" you had recently. You know, the one about taking the kids camping by yourself?


Katherine Thomas said...

Ha! I love this post! How many times have we all set out to create a special family memory and bonding time, when it actually took way more effort on Mom's part than anyone will ever realize!

Darla Dixon, Artist said...

Thanks Katherine! lol...I just realized, I need to empty out the car and probably vacuum it - there are probably ants in the car just waiting to provide our family more entertainment!

Christy said...

Spent most of the morning picking out houses for a potential client to preview, then met with potential client and family at 3 pm and they are now actual clients. Got lost on the way to there residence because of GPS on phone. We hit is off so well I spent 2 hours with them talking about babies, husbands (current and ex) and teenagers and no not just with the wife. Finally got home around 6 after stopping to finally buy some bifocal sunglasses so I could actually see who is calling me on the phone when I have my contacts on and I am driving (Walgreens, Foster Grant Readers $14.99) Was going to change and go to my sister's house in Alpharetta for a party then realized I had not eaten all day. Sat down (BIG MISTAKE) and had some cheese and crackers (did not want to fill up because they have tons of food at her parties). Called gentleman friend to see if he and his daughter wanted to come to the party too and while I waited for him to get answer out of his daughter I changed clothes, fed the animals and sat down again(BIG MISTAKE AGAIN). Fianlly heard from gentleman friend at 7 pm when the phone woke me up from my slumber on the sofa where I was surrounded by fur babies (dog and 2 cats). Decided it was too late to drive an hour to go to a party for 2 hours and realized I was still hungry. After scouring the fridge and cabinets for food I did not want to eat (craving steak from party I missed) decided to order out. Went online and got distracted by FaceBook for 30 minutes and finally order food from Chili's at The Avenue for pick up. Get dog in car that had started freaking out because of fireworks going off randomly around neighborhood. On the way to Chili's, I saw what looked like a fireworks factory explosion at a neighborhood at the corner of Moon Place and Webb Ginn House and almost ran through a red light. Dog really freaked out and jumped in my lap almost knocking my hands from the steering wheel. Finally make it to Chili's and pick up dinner. While starting the car to go back home and enjoy my steakhouse sandwich, my new client calls and has picked out a house to go see on Monday. Not having anything to write with and having a cowering dog in my lap told her I would call her back in 10 when I got home. Drove back past the intersection of Moon and Webb Ginn only to find the fireworks still going off and almost rear ended a truck. Get home safely and dog practically jumps out of the open car window to get inside. Get inside put the food on the counter and promptly head to the screen porch (where I left my laptop) and call client to check out which house she likes. Meanwhile every neighborhood and the city of Snellville begin shooting off all the fireworks in their arsenals. Sound like the front lines in a war zone while I was on the phone with her. Found the house she like from the list I sent her but realized it was almost 10 pm and I had to wait to call the other agent. Made promises to call and get it set up on Monday morning and then finally get to eat my sandwich. Fully satiated and bursting at the seams from a wonderful dinner, I promptly fell asleep on the sofa, again surrounded by fur babies that were exhausted from freaking out about the fireworks. Woke up about midnight and realized my 19 year old was still not home from her out to Lake Sinclair with her father's family. Try texting, no answer. Try calling, no answer. Try texting her older brother and got an answer from him that he does not know anything and cannot get a hold of anyone. Panic sets in and is battling with the overwhelming urge to sleep. Ultimately, give up and pray to God that she will be OK and collapse into bed at 1 am. That is my 4th of July story. What was your day like?

Christy Jansen

Darla Dixon, Artist said...

Whoo Christy! At least you got a new client! Way to go! What an adventure. The earlier part of our day went great. I fixed potato salad that I didn't mess up TOO badly, and a yellow cake. At my brothers-in-law's house, I let the youngest kids cover the cake in Cool Whip and decorate it with some blueberries and sliced strawberries so it looked like a U.S. flag. My brother in law grilled burgers. We had a nice meal for lunch. My father in law gave us a slide projector and screen & a lot of slide carousels filled with old family pictures going back probably to the 60's and 70's - there are about 12 carousels and we haven't looked through them yet. That's going to be a lot of fun. We came home and went swimming before we went to watch fireworks.

acoloraffair said...

Darla and Christy ... you make my 4th boring in comparison. I went to two different parties though I was too tired to enjoy either one. Had two beers at the first party (on the 3rd) but it felt like I drank a keg. Had 4 sodas at the second party with two helpings of awesome banana pudding but it felt like I drank a keg. I saw fireworks on the 3rd through a line of trees and worked in the studio while the bombs were going off on the 4th. Very boring here. I don't do the family outings on July 4th anymore after attempting Darla's Kind-of-Day at Stone Mountain Park back in 2001 - NEVER AGAIN will I go to the mountain on a holiday!

Great Stories! You've made my night.